I Want To Love You More

Cynthia Hurd was one of the nine people killed Wednesday during a Bible study inside the Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina. As I listened to an interview on NPR days after, I heard Malcolm Graham, a former North Carolina state senator, and Cynthia’s brother, talk about his memory of her.

At 54, Cynthia was a mother figure to their family, having five siblings, she was the glue that held them together. Her brother went on and said that she loved the library and reading, having worked in a library for 31 years. As he spoke passionately about her it was clear that she loved God. Having grown up in the church, Cynthia sang in the choir and was at a bible study that fateful night.

His words struck me. She. Loved. God. As I drove and the interview closed, suddenly these words bubbled up inside of me, “I want to love you more”. I began to ponder, how do I love God? Why, sometimes is it hard to love God? This moment struck me so deeply that I began to examine my life. It caused me to consider my thoughts, my words, my emotions, my actions, and just how I spend my precious time. Am I loving God? What does that look like for me? Do I love him when it’s convenient, when it’s easy, only when I need him? These thoughts did not come from a place of condemnation but rather a place of going deeper in relationship with Him.

The words, I want to love you more continue to ring loudly throughout my soul. I want to love him more. I pray that I will have the courage to be obedient to his call every day, to be faithful in the little things. I don’t want to be a back seat driver to this life when it comes to loving God and loving people. I don’t want to ask why when He asks.

What would it be like to leave a legacy like Cynthia has? I want to be known for loving God, no matter what that means. I want my actions to speak it. My words to edify it. If I don’t do anything else well in this world, this is what I want most. Cynthia Hurd has inspired me. To be a better person. To love better.

Legacy by Nichole Nordeman

I want to leave a legacy, how will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to you enough
To make a mark on things? I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed your name
Unapologetically and leave that kind of legacy

Hear the story about Cynthia Hurd here on Here and Now:
http://hereandnow.wbur.org/2015/06/19/charleston-victim-hurd-brotherCross

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