I’m no good at new year’s resolutions. I mean I’ve wanted to learn to figure skate since the Nancy Kerrigan days and learning to play the violin tops my list too.
So when a friend asked me if I had picked a word for the year it got me thinking. What’s in a word that guides your life for a whole year?
Will I really apply it? What’s it gonna be?
How about you? Do you have a word for the year?
This year I’ve decided to join the rest of what feels like the world and select a word. I started thinking about it mid holiday and the word surrender kept rearing its head.
Google defines Surrender like this; cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.
Before Christmas I thought I knew exactly what this meant for me and for the new year. It meant being a person that let’s go of the minutia, the things that really don’t matter. Surrendering would mean giving up control when I don’t have it any way. Surrendering means getting out of God’s way so He can actually work in me.
So I went on about my days thinking OK, this surrender deal may be doable.
Then the night after Christmas came and as I was walking my beagle Scout counting my blessings, we began to run. I was wearing flip flops as you do during a Texas Christmas and I landed wrong and rolled my foot, breaking the fifth metatarsal bone.
Surrender sank in.
Never did I think I would literally be MADE to surrender. My foot’s in a cast and I’m on crutches for the next six weeks at best.
Life can change in the blink of an eye.
Immediately teaching fitness classes came to a stop, so did my high intensity interval training. And just like that, my hopes and plans for 2017 were altered.
When my pity party was over, I collected myself and began to research what the act of surrender really looks like.
Then this kept showing up, not once but again and again.
“Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:2
So I read and I read. I prayed and I prayed.
So here’s what I’ve come up with and what I think surrender means for me this year…
Wait and pray first.
Stop and listen for God’s voice.
Trust that there is a plan for my good.
Believe that there is purpose in this delay.
Rely upon God instead of myself.
Instead of trying harder, trust Him more.
Let go and let God do it.
Expect a miracle.
The act of surrender won’t be easy. In fact it will be really hard for me because I’m bad at waiting and I’m not patient.
Surrender. The word just doesn’t sound pretty, it’s not flashy and at first blush it doesn’t really feel positive. But I think it is and it will be.
You see, I want what He wants. To say this is even hard for me because I’ve always been the planner of my life. I mean I have dreams, desires, and goals, things to do, places to go, and people to see.
But the thing is, I trust the one who knows best, the one who has the plan for me. The one who is there for me at every turn at every moment of the day.
Surrender and patience. Those two words don’t really excite me at the moment as I lay here with a foot propped up.
I’m resolved not to give in to the negative or to give up on my hopes and dreams. I will keep my head up and focus on Him.
I’ll do what I can. I’ll forge ahead. I’ll keep on keepin’ on with my word in mind this year.
I’ll do my best to be a breath of fresh air, to be a light in the dark, to stay faithful, to say yes to God.
I will believe.